B&Bs vs Hotels: The Analysis in Your Life You've Been Missing

I’m in Belgium on business and, contrary to convention yet again, am staying in a bed and breakfast.  Most of us when we travel, and particularly business travelers, are conditioned to stay in hotels.  After all, you’ve got enough to worry about between finding your way around, meetings on top of meetings, presentations, figuring out new colleagues or customers, just being away from home and family and jet lag if you’re traveling across multiple time zones.  When you go to a Holiday Inn or a Hilton, you feel like that’s one thing you’ve got figured out: you know those places and don’t have to worry about anything.

Well, I think hotels are too boring and too much of a reminder that yeah, I’m a stranger in this place.  The latter feeling is particularly acute in foreign countries where you are constantly reminded you don’t belong there in every single situation you’re in.  Beds and breakfasts provide a unique opportunity to blend in with the landscape, to get a sense of where you are and feel a little bit less like a visitor.  Or at least, that you’re in a foreign place but at least in a place that feels like a little like home. 

Most people don’t agree with me and that’s fine.  But I’m here in the living room of one now with the British version of the reality show about celebrities learning to be professional divers dubbed in Dutch on the television being watched by the proprietor’s kids and, well, I feel like writing this.  It will also help me get my mind off a very good yet very bad work week. 

I’m going to use the old ‘Tale of the Tape’ gimmick that I did not invent but fits very well in this situation.  Let’s go, shall we?

Atmosphere

This isn’t even close.  B&Bs are almost always lived in by the owners with their own personal touches.  I’m looking right now at a platter full of little marzipan cupcakes, two stone Chinese warriors on the windowsill, a candelabra and a really old-looking chest of drawers.  There’s a hammock in the yard, the house looks like it survived World War II and my room feels like the cozy loft of a barn.  At a hotel, at least a chain hotel, it’s like eating a Big Mac at any McDonald’s: you know pretty much what you’re getting. 

Advantage: B&Bs

Rooms

I can’t grade this on personality so let’s go on functionality.  Hotels provide you with everything you need from consistently hot water, a nice-sized television, a reasonably-comfortable bed, a half-decent shower, tissues, more than one trash can, a chair to sit in, a clock, a phone, a place to put your suitcase, usually a desk and, if you’re in the US, an ironing board.  B&Bs usually skimp on those amenities, only making sure you have a bed, a bedside table, a place to hang your clothes and maybe a chair.  And only having one trashcan is annoying particularly because it’s usually in the bathroom.  Some B&Bs are better than others but the amenities aren’t reliable. 

Advantage: Hotels

Bed

It’s important to have a bed you can sink down into, that’s clean and doesn’t give you a backache.  I’ve slept in wonderful beds and horrible beds in both B&Bs and hotels. 

Advantage: Neither

Parking

Parking your car is usually your first impression of a place, particularly if you were a little stressed just trying to find it.  B&Bs aren’t going to have a nice-sized parking lot just because the number of rooms is very small but their parking lots can be cozy.  In Europe I’ve had to park in some very tight underground parking garages that drove me batty but a B&B’s parking might not be any better.  At this particular one my car is parked on the street, halfway on the curb and out where someone not paying close attention will smack right into it. 

Advantage: Even

Maid Service

Hotels have maids that clean your room EVERY SINGLE DAY.  They’re like psycho magical elves who force you to clean your room up and zip up your suitcase EVERY SINGLE DAY.  You return to your room in the evening knowing that SOMEONE HAS BEEN THERE WHILE YOU WERE OUT.  I also think it’s creepy to come back to the room to see my bed looking like I never slept in it.  “Wait, is this my room?  This bed doesn’t look slept in.  Oh wait, there’s my suitcase, all nice and zipped up and hopefully unmolested.”  B&Bs don’t have maid service and if they ever break into your room, you surely don’t know about it.  I revel in leaving the room messy.  Who wants to waste time cleaning their hotel room? 

Advantage: B&Bs

Other Guests

Hotels have tons of guests and you never know who is going to be your next door neighbor or running down the hall at 3am yelling and screaming.  B&Bs don’t have halls and I’ve never (no offense kids) stayed in one where there were kids there (that I can remember).  No contest.

Advantage: B&Bs

Irons

Am I the only person on Earth who needs to iron his clothes after they’ve been in my luggage?  Hotels either have irons in the room or available at the front desk.  Since there’s always someone at the front desk I can ask for it whenever I want, even after normal bedtime.  At this B&B, I had to use the ginormous iron in the family laundry room surrounded by stacks of clean and dirty clothes.  I ironed all my clothes at once so as to avoid having to ask to use it again. 

Advantage: Hotels

Service Level

Hotels usually have a 24-hour service desk.  B&Bs provide service by people who genuinely want to be around you (people don’t run B&Bs if they’re misanthropes).  Heck, I was just served tea by the 12 year-old daughter of the proprietor while I’m sitting here typing this.

Advantage: Even

Breakfast

B&Bs are, duh, well-known for breakfasts.  You’ll get local food served up by a true local.  The lady here runs to the bakery every morning to get fresh bread.  What you lack, however, is variety.  Hotels usually offer a generous buffet or at least one that is somewhat passable.  The best breakfasts I’ve had on the road have been in hotels but so have the worst ones.  B&Bs are consistent with a good, decent, local breakfast that hasn’t been sitting in a bin over a can of sterno for 30 minutes.

Advantage: B&Bs

Price

Let’s put it this way: when Jennifer and I stayed in Philadelphia we paid for a hotel downtown that featured a door that looked like someone had broken in once upon a time as well as 1am group conversations in the hallway from the members of the Robinson family reunion (at least, that’s what their t-shirts said).  For the same price, we could have had a B&B.  I’m paying 75 euros ($110) for this B&B which is at least $50 cheaper per night than the hotel most people in my company stay in.  Plus I don’t have to pay for parking. 

Advantage: B&Bs

Special Perks

Hotels have rewards programs which is nice.  Problem is that you have to stay in the hotels a lot to rack up points and use them.  B&Bs don’t have rewards programs but you get to easily meet other guests at breakfast (if you’re like me and sometimes like that sort of thing) as well as the proprietors, their kids and their pets.  And you can learn a lot of things about where you’re staying from the people running a B&B; you can’t just ask the front desk clerk at the Ibis Hotel whether the French-speaking people living on the Flanders (Flemish-speaking) side of the border do their grocery shopping in Flanders or not.  Plus I’ve never had a dog lick my hand in a hotel.

Advantage: B&Bs

Payment

Hotels are guaranteed to take any credit card you have and sometimes in foreign countries accept payments in US dollars.  Several B&Bs I’ve stayed in would only accept cash.

Advantage: Hotels

Do we even need to total this up?  B&Bs 6, Hotels 4.  Actually, that was closer than I thought.  Guess I need to alter my rating system to come up with the results I want, eh.