The Six Stages of Trip Preparation

I think the toughest part about a business trip isn’t the trip itself, it’s the preparation.  Not the packing, the mental preparation of being away from a loving family and the little things that make home home.  It doesn’t help that the reason for the trip is business, not pleasure, though actually pleasure makes it worse because you’re enjoying yourself while your family is back home, not enjoying it with you.  And of course, for Jennifer she is now the single mom with a slightly-rambunctious and independent three year-old boy, a 10-month old boy who still demands a ton of time and effort and a dog who is, for lack of a better word, a bit of an over-exuberant klutz. 

Seriously, mentally going on a trip is tougher than before.  I don’t know how people that ship off to Iraq, the fishing waters of Alaska, expatriate business assignments and other long-term stays do it, at least at the beginning.  Graham is at the age of understanding that I’m going getting on a plane, flying somewhere far away and not returning for a few days.  Also that he’ll probably get to watch more movies (i.e. Cars) while I’m gone.  But this also means that he wonders why he can’t come along.  Not that he wants to see Germany but that he wants to be with me.  Still, I prefer that to Trevor who has no  concept that I’m just away for a few days (seven) and will be coming back.  All he’s going to know is that Da-Da isn’t here.  Yeah, he has started referring to me as Da-Da, well, more like Da-Da-Da-Da-Da-Da-Da.  Hopefully Jennifer will inform me when I next call her that Trevor is as happy as ever and doesn’t seem to miss me.  Though maybe that will be a little sad too. 

Of course, I am getting to fly to Germany.  Not many people do and yet this is my third time to visit.  Granted, it’s for business and I’m not going to have much time to sightsee, but still, I’ll be there.  It’s easier to forget about life back home when you’re diving headlong into work (i.e. justifying your salary and the money the company shelled out to send you instead of just relying on phone conferences and e-mail) and getting a kick out of the culture and food.  Germany is just a cool place to be, at least, Munich is (I haven’t seen any other parts except the Frankfort airport).  The language is fun to try to speak, the food is excellent and even though it’s in Europe it’s familiar enough that an American doesn’t feel like a complete duck out of water as opposed to, say, Taiwan.  I’m thankful to have the job I have that allows Jennifer to stay at home with the kiddos and for the opportunity to travel but man, I can’t wait until the fam gets to come along (though I’m not looking forward to the price; my airfare is $2200 round-trip though it was booked only a few weeks in advance and in summer). 

Each trip seems to be the same regarding the days leading up to them as I go through the six distinct mental phases prior to the plane taking off:  Contained Excitement, Absence, Trepidation, Melancholy, Acceptance and Determination.  I’ve never written about them clearly before so let’s walk through them, shall we?

Contained Excitement – This begins once I realize I’m going on a trip and I have the dates.  Thus I can start the planning process of flights, hotels, ground transportation (rental cars, subways, taxis), scheduling meetings and finalizing my work objectives for the trip.  My company contracts with an outside vendor to book everything; it’s nice to have a partner-in-crime in the planning details, especially since our designated contact is a lady living in a seaside house on the coast of Maine.  There’s a bit of excitement in the planning details of figuring out the best flights (combination of cheapest and fewest connections, not always in that order).  The thought of flying on foreign airlines is always exciting and anyway, who doesn’t like planning a trip? 

Of course, it’s always trouble when I bring it up to Jennifer to confirm which dates are ok.  She always knows my travel priorities (rarely do trips pop up unannounced) but it’s still a little grating for her when I’m setting the dates for a trip.  I can’t contain my excitement, though I try to hide it, and she of course is thinking about what she’s going to do to keep herself sane while I’m gone.  Even if I did hide my excitement, I’m sure she’d still know it’s there.  But it’s not that I’m excited to be traveling abroad, away from housework, disciplining children or just to be able to eat out all the time; I’m just excited to be able to move forward and do my job better.  Usually my trips are made to get something done that I couldn’t in the office, or at least not efficiently from the office.  Well, maybe I’m a little excited also because I may be visiting a foreign culture or a new exotic place like Minneapolis in winter.  I do NOT get excited to be going somewhere that is either extremely boring for me (New Orleans, Miami) or someplace that I’ve been too enough that it’s not any fun anymore (Washington, DC [no offense, Aunt Ashes!], San Jose). 

Absence – The Absence phase is the phase after the planning is done but before I have to start getting really prepared.  It’s more out-of-sight, out-of-mind.  I try to plan my trips at least a month in advance so this phase may last as long as three weeks.  Oh, I still think about it every now and again due to a project or issue at work or just looking up at the sky, seeing thunderclouds and shuddering to think of having to fly in heavy turbulence.  But for the most part it’s out of my mind.

Trepidation – The Trepidation phase usually begins 3-5 days before the trip when I realize that man, I’m going up in a plane again.  By Trepidation I mean a slight bit of fear.  It’s not brought on by leaving my family or packing or whether I’ll be able to do a good job on the trip.  Oh no, it’s brought on by the fear of flying or, more accurately, turbulence.  Any long-time reader of this blog knows I hate bouncing planes.  Hate them.  I put up with them now but I still get sweaty palms and worry whenever the plane I’m in is ascending, descending or flying straight through clouds or any severe bit of turbulence.  When I look at the sky, my first thought during the Trepidation phase is not “Oh, what a lovely day” but rather “Oh man, all of those clouds are covering up the sun, I’ll bet everyone’s having a bumpy flight today.”  Seriously.  Not that I get the jitters to ever go up in a plane.  In fact, when I’m on my way to the airport in the Determination phase, I usually am not worried about the flight.  But 3-5 days before, I have plenty of time to think about it.

Melancholy – Melancholy sets in when not only do I think about turbulence but I realize I’m leaving my family AGAIN!  This usually happens 2-3 days before the trip right before I start doing the actual prep like buying snacks at H-E-B and thinking about packing.  The severity of this phase is directly proportional to the length of the trip, mainly because my US trips are usually no longer than 5 days while my international ones can be anywhere from 7-15.  I thus think a lot about missing Jennifer, the kids, the dog, the garden (this is especially acute in Apr-Jun and Sep-Oct), our house, the city of Austin, great weather (not applicable Jun-Aug), homemade and home-cooked food, frappuccinos, not having to be worried about whether the person I’m interacting with speaks English and sleeping in my own bed.  Sure, I’ll be back soon but I don’t think about that too much.  I try to make myself feel better by reminding myself how the trip will allow my company to be more compliant and thus for me to do a better job; it doesn’t help.  The best I can do is get distracted with other activities like pool parties with the extended family.

Acceptance – At some point, it sinks in that ‘Forget it, I’m going, it’s necessary and there’s nothing to be done about it.’  This is around the time I start prepping for the trip including packing (usually the last thing to be done) and all the household tasks that need to be done before I leave.  The household tasks are either a) inside projects and minor tasks I haven’t gotten to yet and b) lawn care.  For this particular trip, these tasks included neatening up the house (done), fixing the media center door Maisy Insaisy kicked and broke (not done), laundry (half-done), putting new sugar water in hummingbird feeders (done), giving the dog a bath (done), watering landscape shrubbery thoroughly so Jennifer won’t have to do it while I’m gone (done), water new trees (done), set up garden with soaker hoses so Jennifer doesn’t have to hand water (done), install and check new inkjet cartridges in printer (half-done) and bake cookies (done).  Thankfully I didn’t have to mow the lawn too (thanks, Texas drought!). 

Usually right before I go to bed, since this is the time I give up finishing any projects or household chores, I pack.  I’ve used  a checklist for years to help me (I can’t believe I ever packed without one) but it still takes much longer than it should, at least 45 minutes.  I like putting the suitcase right up on the bed which is a problem because I usually am packing at the time Jennifer wants to go to sleep.  Last night I moved the suitcase over to just my side of the bed and she slept with the light on.

Determination – This phase begins as soon as I say goodbye to everyone.  The attitude is basically ‘Alright, I’m going, let’s do this.”  At that point I become all business, focusing almost 100% on knocking the trip out and getting back home.  I still think about Jennifer, Graham-a-lamma-ding-dong and Trevi Trevs (and the dog) but my schedule is usually busy enough with flights, long days in the office, social dinners and trying to find the nearest gyro stand without having much time to reflect on what I miss at home.  Thank goodness for Skype though so the fam and I can have video calls at least every other day, depending on what time zone I’m in and what type of trip it is.  Believe it or not, it’s tougher to schedule a Skype call when I’m in Arizona than when I’m in Germany or Japan, simply because the best time for me is after work.  On Mountain or Pacific Time, that’s when the kiddos are asleep.